Throwing It All In by Krystyana Lux

 
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For the longest time, my answer to the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was "Pediatric General Internist." That is, until I was first diagnosed with Familial Mediterranean Fever. Suddenly, my answer went from a dignified response to a casual shrug of the shoulders.

Struggling to move forward, I tried various careers on as if they were I ❤ NY tee shirts, but not a single one seemed to fit my ideals or personality. And as embarrassing as it may sound, the uncertainty I felt poked a hole in my relationship with God.

I was unwilling to let go of the dream I held so close to my heart — the dream that very much formed my identity (or at least I thought it did); and I was certainly not about to give up my aspiration to own as many shoes as I'm sure Jackie O. once did. Until, God quietly lifted my heart away from the desperation I clasped a hold of. 

 

He patiently taught me everything that I seemed to miss, on account of my acute stubbornness. He carried me through some of the hardest things anyone could possibly face — from losing a loved one to rapidly declining health. He held my heart as I found my balance and learned to breathe without my grandmother being a phone call away.

And out of left field, I came to the realization that my career path didn't need to be about materialistic things or type-a personalities, but instead about stewardship. If serving God was my foremost priority and the backbone of my identity, then I needed to stop assimilating control with regards to my professional future and start obeying God's will. After all, walking away from a dream wasn't the end of the world, but the birth of a greater plan.

 

With that in mind, I looked back on the past four years and found the one thing God has maintained and held true through this enduring season. And without noticing, He's been shaping my soul into His own, preparing my heart for a life devoted to change.

If I had never walked the path of my last four years, I never would have witnessed the miracles that occur when we start believing in the sanctity of possibility; or bear testimony to the rebirth of life through His provision. Long story short, I have committed to studying Exercise Science and Physical Therapy with the intent of helping children manage their own pain and work through whatever miracle God planned for them. "By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." 1 John 3:16

 

So to you, reading this, remember;

  • God is always working within you, even when...
    • Even when it feels like you're facing an uphill battle.
    • Even when you think you're drowning.
    • Even when you're two steps away from giving up and falling to your knees.
    • Even when you're blinded with milestone envy.

 

  • "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; He lifts His voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations He has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; He burns the shields with fire. He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." Psalm 46

 

  • "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19

 

  • "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6

 

  • "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

 

  • "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28